Full Moon

You can't find the phone so you can call it off.
But it might be for the best..
Because we're awful young and we require certain skills.
We can go undercover or hideaway.
Oh. Can you hear? When I say, "I have never felt this way."
Maybe not. So I'll just stare at this sky, looking for a star.
I'd tell you how I feel but you don't care. I'd ask you to
tell me the truth but you don't dare.

Days like this I don't know what to do with myself all day and all night.
I wander the halls along the walls and under my breath I say to myself,

"I need fuel... to take flight."

Boy you make my speakers explode. Dancing on the tailgate in the full moon? Yeah that kind of thing makes me go... Mhmmm.

You're looking so good.

I don't know where I am. I don't recognize this place anymore. Don't remember anybody.
But then there comes you. To keep me safe from harm.  Here comes you, to take me in your arms.

Isn't this just a game? I don't know. You're playing me right? Like a game? Because that's what it feels like. It'd be nice to break my heart; wouldn't it? I guess it's time for me to play my cards. But once I do, you'll just come back again. To keep me same from harm.

This is just a game isn't it? You love this game. Well, I hate it. I'm tired of playing.

Take my hand and my heart will break. I'll give in to your kisses on the ground.
And let you win.

"Hello? Are you there?"

I'm so alone.

No one will listen.

All I want is for someone to talk to me.

That's it. One person.

But there's no one.

"Hello?"

I can't deal with this stress and anxiety by myself.

I need just one person to tell me what to choose.

I need help, care, love.

But there's no one here to give that to me.

"I'm here."

I'm running out of gas. 

I can't keep up the pace anymore.

Please someone slow down so I can catch you.

I'm miserable. Can't you tell?

Hello? Anyone?

"I'm listening! Open your damn ears and listen to me!

I've been here all along! Haven't you noticed? 

We used to talk all the time. Now, you've changed. 

Shut the world out.

I've been waiting for you just like you've been waiting for me.

Please. I'm right here, my sweet. I'll always be here. You just need to listen.

Just once. 

I'll be waiting."

Buttons.

Buttons

You came with extra buttons.
Yes, incase you lose one.
I understand, but you've left me emotionally gutted.

Rumpus

You are now the king; and you will be a truly great king.



Aw, yea. It looks good on him, look. hahaha


He looks great, our king. King... a king.


It looks perfect on him. Fresh king.



Hey king, what's your first order of business?



Let the wild rumpus start. 

Perfect. 



One we say, off we go


Two we say, off we go



To the door, in the floor


It's the dawn of the day


You can stop


And just say that it's mine



I know we don't need it


All in line we go


We don't need it


All in line you go,

go,

go,

go.

Wild Things

                      

Oh please don’t go.

I’ll eat you up.

I love you so.

Listening to Storytime.

My mom wakes me up. I don't budge. She drags my lifeless body to school. Still I don't acknowledge her or our surroundings. We arrive. I walk; in my frilly pink dress. I think to myself, "What am I wearing?" I make it inside. I nod to my *friends*, but smile an empty, toothy, meaningless grin to my acquaintances. It's all for show, right? All I need to do is pretend like I'm happy for a few hours and then I can go home.

I'm in class now. We practice our times tables. Bor-ing. The recess bell rings. So loud. I tell it to shut up; it's giving me a headache. Of course, he is rude and doesn't stop ringing. Everyone runs outside. Screaming. Laughing. So naive, they are. Don't they know the dangers of outside? I'm safe in here, I tell myself. If I don't go outside, it'll never happen again. Nothing can hurt me in here, I think. I prepare myself. Deep breath. The first flashback comes and goes. Not too bad this time. So I wait. I'm quiet. My teacher doesn't even come and tell me to go outside anymore. We both know it's no use.

The class comes back. Filthy. Who's the smart one now? We start science. No experiment today. I hate science. The lunch bell rings. Why are there so many bells? Bells are stupid. I grab my plastic lunch box with four best friends on the front. They look so happy. I think, why can't I have that? Then I remember. It's my fault. I push everyone away. I'm afraid that if I befriend anyone, they'll get hurt just like me. I shouldn't be afraid of my brothers like this. It's not normal; not healthy. And not just one brother, two!

Oh great. I've been called on. Now everyone's laughing at me. Because I was so out of it that I couldn't answer. When will this daydreaming end? Storytime? I HATE storytime. Everyone knows those happy endings don't really exist. Let's be realistic here. The teacher starts reading and immediately my thoughts start drifting. Oh good. They're happy thoughts this time. I can hear my teachers voice over my thoughts but I have no idea what she's reading about. Something about a cat? No..a, duck? Ugly duckling. That's me. I'm ugly. Ugly. He told me I'm not ugly. Behind locked doors. They both did. Daydreaming. No. Terrors. My parents left the house often and said that they'd both watch us; protect us. They have no idea. I'm playing outside and he comes to me. They come to me. Touch me. They take me into my room and lock the door. I wonder... What's going on? We've never done this before.. Oh. Wow. This is new. Different. Exhilarating. I don't say stop. I kinda want to do this again.. Is that wrong? I don't care.

It's been three years and this is still going on. I'm almost 11 now. Why won't it stop? I'm disgusted with myself. I just want to feel normal again. I just want to tell someone..

Eyes

It's way past my bedtime. I should be sleeping. But I'm not. Dang homework.

My middle finger hurts and has an indent from writing. Stupid homework.

My pinky is black from smearing my hard work. I hope it doesn't look sloppy.

My pen is running out of ink from writing for so long. I hope I can end soon.

My iPhone is newly updated because I became bored with my homework.

I've gotten to the point where my music is turned off because the songs finished and I'm too focused to choose new ones.

My eyes are drooped and burning from staying up too late.

Can I be done now?